Holmes Holman
On the veranda at dusk, overlooking the magnificent grand lawn,
twin miniature ebony pachyderms trumpet across the slate, cross
in front of me as the dark simian leaps into my arms:
(V/O) Now I can solve the case!
The Broken Watch
A lotÕs going on at the Club, but as I step out and look at my watch
(Round white face and thin red hands) & -- the hands unsproing! In fact
The now single red hand pokes out the casing, like a wire or string, and
I pull it out. Upset, I call the watch company
To get the address
To send it back.
ItÕs not that big a deal,
the watch repair guy says. Hold
onto the hand, click and push
the casing and the crystal
should pop off. Then double over
and knot the string and poke
the knot into the little slit in the
center of the face, forcing it gentlyÉ.
Hey wait Š I shout into the phone, by now
IÕm walking through a manufacturing district
down by the trains. I donÕt want to become
a watch repairman! I just want to send
the watch in and get it fixed!....
By this time IÕm walking into a manufacturing/repair
building with a window in the wall where you talk
to the guys in the shop. A guy behind the window is
on the phone, and itÕs clear from his gesticulations Š
this is the guy IÕve been talking to on the phone Š
IÕve walked into the watch repair store, although
it looks much more industrial, with a shoe type metal repairing
last covered with glue, lots of greaseÉ The guy takes the watch
and motions for me to wait inside.
Inside is an apartment which doubles as a childcare center Š the kids
are just leaving so that the woman whose apartment it is can take over.
The palace is a drop-in hangout scene for actors, and I see my pal Sal
Principato on the TV. Women flirt with me. A guy with no arms leans
his shoulder in at me, his way of shaking hands. The dˇcor is spare,
the feeling warm, welcoming, clean, collegial. A woman in a beanbag chair
beckons me over to fuckÉ
The Shoe Store
Busy fancy hotel shoe store.
I need a pair of green shoes.
The smart, attractive woman
behind the corner points to a pair
of green alligator shoes, clearly
not my style, so she indicates
the man up the five or six steps
into the real sales area, and she says ŅShuss,Ó
ŅshoesÓ in a strange, dark, thick accent.
The man is older, chubby, sweating, working hard.
He indicates the shoes on the wall, well, there is one
nice green shoe in my size, rounded, vaguely clownish
but quite nice, but its mate is blue. The salesman looks
exasperated and says he will go look for a full pair.
IÕm left alone and time goes by and time goes by and I go
back to the woman who points to the croc shoes, shrugs,
sort of looks over to the side and when I walk through
the door and up the stairs to the back hall thereÕs
the salesman in a hallway filled with shoes and shoeboxes.
We look through them all.
It takes forever. In the end,
I donÕt mind the green and blue pair at all.
The Blimp
While walking thru a desolate highway/mall/suburban area,
I see thereÕs an airshow going on. A huge plane Š four wings?
And a large, classic science fiction-shaped rubber blimp ship.
Which starts to come straight at me.
I run, but I canÕt outrun it. It hits me, swallows me up,
there is an explosion, IÕm dead.
But IÕm still here, and enlist the
parking lot attendantÕs help to find my car.
Where is my family?
People act like nothingÕs happened.
But I am dead.
You can't aim a duck to death.
I was
A wanderer
I answered
The phone
ŅYou have come
here to dieÓ
Not quickly
Eventually
You
A home is not
Something you can buy
A love
Cannot
Be spoken
Here with you, singing
I write this poem
The Shape
We moved through seasons
Like fish
And we moved through the years
Like a gravel riverbed
Clouds
You must close your eyes
to listen
Your skin tells
everything
Mountain
We were in the Midwest
Looking for mountains
The wind couldnÕt go around
And there were no shadows
We called it ŅbedÓ
Last Night
A rain tonight, light on
the screen
I turn to see you
Looking at me
A night remembered
Like a place
Indelibly marke
On a map
Of us
Motionlessness in Motion
Brought together
By chance and rigor
The poem and
The hand
What Love Is
I put out my hand
Your face is there
On the Edge of the Old Lagoon
Our boat, our boat
Nestling into the lagoon
Your lips
Nestling into neck
Greek Zen
Your eyes come loose
My tongue lies down
ItÕs body partsÕ parade
While you and I hide out
Behind the statue
Of Dark, lit for us only
Bodies disappear in afternoon
Almost Perfect Gesture
Here at the airport connections
and farewells
But we live here. These tides.
Our easy breaths.
Back to Back in the Day
When I think of how you
Were before I knew you
I canÕt imagine
Such a world
Signature of All Things
Under your eyelid
The poem never sleeps
Effortlessly Human
Crossing the street
I cannot do it
I turn in the middle of traffic
And come home to you
Little Africa
If I were young now IÕd be in Africa
IÕve been there three times
YouÕve never been there
We tend the garden and we wait for rain
Dry as it is here on the edge
Of the Sahara
Anywhere in Particular
How did we end up here
In this place, in this bed,
In this sky, in this tomb,
In this shoe, in this kiss
I donÕt care itÕs everywhere
Being here with you.
Get
to the desk
With
a ladder
Throw
your long leg over
Cut
desk to fit chair
Cut
chair to fit desk
Cut
desk to fit chair
Drill
floor so chair fits under
Fall
through floor to barber shop
Call
it ŅMysteries of the Barber ShopÓ
Black
Cat Heads on Platters
I
wonÕt look back
Monkeys
on Polar Bear
The
grotesque growth
Follows
the Grotesque!
The
Nose of the Barber
The
hat of the clown
The
great suitcase of dreams
The
curtain of eventually
Behind
the Senegalese mask
Plant
the idea seed
into
the mind ground
and
grow the fruit idea
then
get a stomach ache
And
see which way youÕll follow
IÕm
not! IÕm in
Front
of you like a poem
lying
await in the con
Tinuous
presence it rolls
a
wheel of glass
That
feels right on noggin
&
rushes past language
Cheri: hi
Tom: o my god it's you!
Tom: how are you doin
Tom: did you just get home?
Cheri: modem...
Cheri: fine, how was bxville?
Tom: did you just get home?
Tom: bxvile was a total success, ty
Cheri: ty?
Tom: tanx you!
Tom: sd, do the intimite details of my dailiness truly intrigue you? not asked testily,
Tom: just curious
Cheri: they do, why?
Tom: it's an email thing
Tom: You've Got Mail opens soon, y'know
Cheri: its so funny that you call me h
Cheri: sounds like heroin and
Tom: you: Meg Ryan, me: Tom Hanks
Tom: and?...
Cheri: and
Cheri: and
Tom: heroin and hope
Cheri: a little bit mean but you're allowed to be mean
Tom: heroin and hookahs
Tom: no, I mean,
Cheri: Meg Ryan Tom Hanks????
Tom: it's a long ways and so many details left out
Tom: it's curious
Tom: they are stars of Honey You've Got an email aka
Tom: You've Got Mail
Tom: Featured on aol
Cheri: you mean that remake of
Tom: Times Sq
Cheri: I mean the sequel of that remake
Cheri: I FUCKING HATE MEG RYAN
Cheri: she s so wrong
Tom: did you know that Wm Honan came w/ me to Sarah Lawrence last nite
Tom: is Tom Hanks Mr Right, hmm?
Cheri: I didnt know that Wm Honan came with you to Sarah Lawrence but then again
Tom: heroin and halvah
Cheri: I dont know who or what Wm Honan & Sarah Lawrence are
Tom: heroin and hoopla
Cheri: so who are those ppl you spend your nights with???
Cheri: tell me T
Cheri: come on T
Tom: Sarah Lawrence: one of 7 Sisters, the female equiv of Ivy League
Tom: now of course almost all are integrated
Cheri: oh
Tom: The World's First Intercollegiate Poetry Slam
Tom: heroin and oh
Cheri: oh
Tom: in bxvl
Tom: where sl is
Tom: sl vs nyu vs bard
Cheri: who won?
Tom: Anne Waldman!
Tom: poetry won
Tom: a colleague
Tom: if I were yr boyfriend
Cheri: WOWOWOW
Tom: and you were my wife
Cheri: yes?
Cheri: curious
Tom: we would have dinner with yr colleague
Tom: Anne Waldman
Cheri: nice?
Tom: who seems to think i'm rather coolio
Cheri: what hard questions are there 2b asked on poslam?
Tom: is it important cultural moment really
Tom: where are the great poems
Tom: how does it differ from beats, besides marketing
Tom: can we go back to September,
Tom: or ahead to blank?
Cheri: why?
Tom: because the time in Canada
Cheri: OK: you hate the limbositutation
Cheri: understandably
Tom: it was limbo before
Cheri: so you want things closer or less close
Cheri: passive limbo
Cheri: now it's active limbo
Cheri: or some such
Tom: Perfect Title, may I steal (said he)
Tom: Active Limbo
Tom: It's active limbo because whyÉ.I must go take a pee
Tom: Can you answer the question: how did it, do you have an idea, it would help
Cheri: it changed cause you thought that I would be snatched away from the market soon while I needed you more
Tom: perfect
Tom: except
Tom: it gave me hope
Tom: and heroin
Cheri: hope for?
Tom: our living together
Tom: our love meshing life
Tom: sumpin like that
Cheri: I know
Cheri: you know I keep thinking about this
Cheri: obviously
Cheri: and I saw a th. today
Cheri: # 3
Tom: one of the two?
Cheri: preview
Tom: a trailer of the movie blockbuster soon to be released
Cheri: lol
Tom: a romantic interlude starring MR and TH
Cheri: yeah I did some screenings before to determine the plot
Tom: I'll bet those were hot auditions
Tom: so reality set in slowly after the cruel sun set over the Hudson
Cheri: yeah the guinea-pigs liked it and apparently market-research does have its advantages
Cheri: Banff
Tom: The cruel Banff
Cheri: Lake Louise please
Tom: The rough Banff
Cheri: Please Louise turn squirm
Tom: Scram damn Banff boof
Cheri: Louise freeze these
Cheri: Assfuckin Banff!!
Tom: Wait a second now
Cheri: lol
Tom: kiss me now baby
Cheri: Banff is kaputt!
Cheri: kiss kiss
Tom: before we drown
Tom: In the Brutal Louise!
Cheri: the case
Cheri: I know English grammar theory much better than Canadian
Cheri: dont ask why
Tom: i must go take a pee
Cheri: rotfl
Tom: will you wait?
Cheri: hokay
Cheri: piss piss
Cheri: Pisses in the bushes in the trashbarrel
pisses in the bed in heaven in the beerhall parlor
maybe itÕs a shit who gives a shit
Tom: he's back
Cheri: Tom pissed off the email
Tom: but the piss is long gone
Tom: in Lake Louise
Cheri: lol
Cheri: see this is why I'm reluctant to feed you Canadian words
Tom: poor Tom baby
Cheri: cause immediately you do some little wordplays in MY LANGUAGE damnit
Tom: would it be better if we were together
Cheri: better in what respect?
Tom: what are you afraid of?
Cheri: oh now you talk like this th. i met today
Tom: ouch
Cheri: afraid. lose control, cannot stop things,
Tom: that's what we've been talking about today, I thought
Tom: That there's no talk about our being together
Cheri: things just went to a different orbit after your visit and now
Cheri: we struggle to live with this
Cheri: and I can only imagine how hard this will be after our next meeting
Cheri: I'm really just scared please believe me
Cheri: it's not that I donÕt want to see you
Cheri: if I was indifferent we might as well have some nice days
Tom: for me (can I say that?)
Cheri: You mean I'm too self-absorbed?
Tom: we have gone as far as we could go
Tom: very painful
Tom: terrifying
Tom: as far as we could go, or at least as far as I could,
Tom: w/out actually doing something
Tom: having it be part of life
Tom: not a rupture
Cheri: you sound cranky
Cheri: i want to get to know all parts of you
Cheri: and you have ev. reason to be cranky of course
Cheri: and I'm getting on your nerves, I know
Tom: I think I'm too simplistic
Tom: will you help me?
Cheri: but that's OK
Tom: all true
Tom: let's start with this:
Tom: I love this
Tom: chattering away on im
Cheri: good start
Tom: words roil and disappear
Tom: etc
Cheri: but you want to see me and see me and see me and you cant see why I donÕt want to see you
Cheri: cause you make so many accomodations, like you
Cheri: YOU SHOULD BE CRANKY
Tom: what did you tell th. about what yr afraid of (don't have to answer)?
Cheri: I told her that I'm so afraid
Cheri: of
Cheri: that
Cheri: my
Cheri: uhm
Cheri: father would CUP my breast again like he did when I was 5
Cheri: and my mother
Cheri: uhm
Cheri: would tell me again that I was lying
Cheri: no
Cheri: say lol
Tom: lol
Cheri: you are cranky
Cheri: you dont laugh at my jokes
Cheri: you hate me a little
Cheri: you think: why her goddamit
Cheri: I told th. that I was afraid of th.
Tom: I don't hate you
Cheri: a little you do
Cheri: that I was afraid that th. would force me to do things I couldnÕt do
Cheri: that I hated the ethno-drums of other therapist
Tom: oy
Cheri: that I wasnÕt sure what my problem is
Cheri: that if she ever said one bad thing about any man I liked I was going to stop th.
Cheri: and that I wasnÕt even sure whether th. could help
Cheri: and then some anthropolgy stuff
Cheri: and she smiled
Cheri: and said: you're totally right. You should be careful.
Tom: She bought that?
Cheri: bought what?
Tom: what anthro stuff did you tell her?
Cheri: how th. wasnÕt scientifically proven
Tom: is she smart enuff?
Cheri: how different things work in diff. cultures
Cheri: how afraid I am that if this aint working nothing will cause th. is the thing our culture chooses
Cheri: to help people out of diff. situations
Cheri: so I didnt want to diss th. I just want it to work
Cheri: She bought that?
Cheri: bought what?
Tom: SD?
Cheri: y
Tom: It's been very painful for me recently
Cheri: yes
Tom: I feel better today
Tom: This is a good talk
Tom: "talk"
Cheri: good
Tom: is it good for you?
Cheri: th > I have no idea how smart she is but she was smart enough not to corner me
Cheri: and not to make me feel like "unconsciously i didnÕt want to do th." like this other woman said
Cheri: she took my concerns seriously
Tom: sounds good
Cheri: and said that I should stop seeing her when I felt uncomf.
Tom: v.g.
Cheri: and that she wouldnt think that this was something Freudian
Tom: no 5-yr old breast-cupping?
Cheri: (if I left) but just normal concerns
Cheri: no 5-yr old breast-cupping.
Cheri: so I said: really? really? you're just saying that arenÕt you?
Tom: ......
Cheri: she said: no. We donÕt know each other, it's difficult, maybe you wonÕt like what I say
Cheri: nothing complicated
Cheri: so I thought:
Tom: ........
Cheri: she gives me the freedom to leave so I can stay
Cheri: she seems very down-to-earth
Cheri: funny, normal
Tom: downside?
Cheri: like she could look at life from a non-Freudian perspective
Cheri: downside: she didnÕt say anything that blew me away
Tom: worth another visit
Tom: did you cry
Cheri: almost
Cheri: but then I saw a package full of Kleenex on the table
Cheri: and thought: nah
Cheri: NOT ME
Tom: atta girl
Cheri: atta?
Tom: i luvs ya kid
Tom: "That-a girl"
Tom: "That's the girl"
Cheri: did you cry?
Tom: first time back from the mountain I cried all hour
Tom: which is now 45 minutes
Cheri: oh no
Tom: oh yes
Cheri: poor lil thing
Tom: that's right
Cheri: how sad
Cheri: why?
Tom: I didn't want to leave you
Tom: this has been painful
Cheri: poor little baby
Cheri: I'm so sorry
Cheri: really
Tom: yr so sweet to me, tootsy
Cheri: yeah but I make you cry how shitty
Tom: you didn't kick me out, baby
Tom: or did you?
Cheri: thanks for reminding me
Cheri: I didnÕt
Cheri: I think you like closeness more than me
Tom: I don't want that again
Cheri: what?
Tom: next time I'll be prepared for distance
Cheri: what? the French & Indian War?
Tom: Bombs Over Baghdad
Tom: we can work together
Tom: and rule the world
Cheri: us!!! hahahaha!
Cheri: we couldnÕt even find the keys to the apt
Tom: makin fun of me again I see
Cheri: no no!
Tom: must go go
Cheri: I'm as forgetful I always forget things
Cheri: donÕt go go
Tom: may I come?
Cheri: please
Tom: you love it just like this, don't you, my tender heart?
Cheri: you have found me out
Cheri: I do
Tom: prickly ongoing nowness
Cheri: partly cause I 'm handicapped
Tom: ccumm again?
Cheri: partly cause I wanna gain time for us to not do something wrong
Cheri: I like it like this cause I prefer longing to closness and b)
Cheri: cause I wanna gain time for us to not do something wrong
Tom: I breathe love in yr ear
Tom: yr right, I like the closeness
Tom: or, say,
Tom: the promise of closeness
Cheri: and you should like the closeness
Tom: like next month say
Tom: why?
Cheri: it's good
Tom: and you?
Cheri: I like longing
Cheri: I liked closeness with my old boyfriend
Cheri: the daily routines, the shopping & cooking
Cheri: I really liked that
Cheri: but the fact that it would take a while, if ever, for us to have this
Tom: ?
Cheri: leads me to think that I like writing more than cooking & shopping
Cheri: but as I donÕt want to fly around the world for all my life i want to change this
Tom: did you cry
Cheri: almost
Cheri: but then I saw a package full of Kleenex on the table
Cheri: and thought: nah
Cheri: NOT ME
Tom: atta girl
Cheri: atta?
Tom: i luvs ya kid
Cheri: did you cry?
Tom: i cried all hour
Tom: which is now 45 minutes
Cheri: oh no
Tom: oh yes
Cheri: yeah but i make you cry how shitty
Tom: you didn't kick me out, baby
Tom: or did you?
Cheri: thanks for reminding me
Cheri: I didnÕt
Cheri: and I think that you are like a cat
Cheri: who wants to do their cat-thing
Cheri: snuggle and that
Cheri: and you donÕt want to fly around the world on your own
Cheri: which is a good thing
Cheri: and which is part of your appeal
Cheri: cause I want to eventually give up longdistance life
Cheri: but now you are a little cat
Cheri: and I am a handicapped performance poet
Tom: meow, baby
Cheri: who is into longing and writing
Cheri: see!
Cheri: I love you still lil cat
Tom: gotta go get my bitter pill
Cheri: the Zoloft?
Tom: is it Sunday yet?
Tom: nah, zoloft ain't bitter
Tom: from the Heartbreak Garage
Tom: where all the Brokenhearted people go to park their cars
Tom: ily
Cheri: cranky old man
Cheri: I love you too
Tom: naw, just a lil pussycat ready to snuggle
Cheri: you really are a cat
Tom: bye bye all alone perfpo with sweet smile
Cheri: bye om
Cheri: ye tommo
Cheri: I love you
Tom: thank you for being tender w/ me today
Cheri: sounds like I'm usually not
Tom: no, it's different somehow
Tom: do you feel it?
Tom: at all?
Cheri: mean
Tom: cornered
Cheri: I dont know from what it would be different
Cheri: I feel good about things
Cheri: I think we'll handle things OK
Tom: our situations aren't the same
Cheri: so?
Tom: that sounded angry
Cheri: not angry
Tom: SD?
Cheri: b
Cheri: yeah you have to go
Tom: how'd ya know?
Cheri: a reason to live with you to get enough of you for once
Tom: mindreader
Cheri: just blackmail me
Tom: bb baby
Cheri: b love
100% OF PROCEEDS WILL
GO TO ACORN, THE NEW ORLEANS MUSICIANSÕ CLINIC, TEXAS CHILDRENS HOSPITAL
KATRINA FUND, AND KALAMU YA SALAAMÕS NEO-GRIOT PROJECT.
I was dancing with my baby